So I haven’t uploaded a blog post in a longggggggggg time but I thought I would give you guys a life update if any of you are interested.
So to start with, as you can tell by the title of this post, Me and Joe broke up. We spent 3 years together but we thought that it was best to just break the ties and move on with our lives. Parts of me is still broken as it is all fresh still but I am slowly coping as I have friends and family around me to offer support when needed.
I am now back at University. After a long 4 months of summer break, I have now returned back to continue my studies at university and I tell you now these first few weeks have been a struggle. Over the summer a couple of changes happened within my family life so I was emotionally fragile when I returned back to uni, at this point I had no money, food or boyfriend so I knew it was a bad start already but today I have too myself that I need to change, I need to be more positive within myself and around others, I need to start putting myself out there and putting myself first because I never usually do that.
There isn’t much else to update you guys on but do tell me if you guys would like me to continue blogging because I never know if my content is actually good enough.
Work makes situations so much harder.
Do you ever wake up on the day of your shift and get pure anxiety even thinking about the day ahead? In this post I’m going to be explaining how to hold your own in the workplace when things get tough.
Get to work, do your job and go home.
There are always times where you have an issue at work and then go home to dwell on it, one thing you need to remember is that your work life and your personal life are two separate things so try not to let it invade your time with people you care about.
In the workplace, you will always have that one manager that’s always rude to you, always blames you and just generally doesn’t like you but you shouldn’t let that bring you down! You go to work to earn money to help you provide for things, to help pay for bills, not for the pleasure of them getting their anger out! make sure you assert yourself in a way that you know how to do your job but you’re not cocky about it.
Be proud of what you have accomplished in the workplace.
I know it can be hard to think if you have achieved anything at work but finding things to be happy about in the worse situations can make life so much easier. Small things such as helping a customer, adjusting displays, using your initiative etc… all of these things can make your day worth while and change your mood dramatically, its the smaller things in life that we cherish the most.
Work is one of the most agonising tasks ever but it has to be done to pay the bills and afford luxuries, just think you will be better off on the other end even though its a painful task.
Hope you enjoyed todays post,
F**K THE MAGAZINES, F**K THE INTERNET, THIS IS MY BODY AND I AM HAPPY!
Most people in this society struggle to understand why they are not accepted, most people believe it is to do with they way they look, the way they speak, the way they act. In fact, its the way that people are projected into the world is why we don’t feel accepted, the use of social media has become the revolution of our lives, we live and breath social media so as soon as a new post, picture etc.. is posted, we instantly judge. We understand that the norm nowadays is seeing models in magazines and young children/teenagers begin to idolise these people and the way that they look, therefore completely forgetting about themselves and get themselves lured into a loophole of what the perfect person is.
The images that we see in the magazines have probably been airbrushed ten times over, showing that if one person looks like this then everyone should, it absolutely baffles me that over 70% of teens are believing all the rubbish that goes online and in the tabloids. Nowadays you hear more cases of children/teenagers having eating disorders than you hear positivity in their bodies. One of my favourite Youtubers opened up about her eating disorder and showed that not everything on the screen is perfect (JustJodes) This then empowered her audience to open up and be honest about their own personal stories, having influencers like Jodes in the world enables the younger audience that not everyone on the screen is perfect and there can be serious issues like eating disorders happening in their lives.
Am I confident with my own body?
Am I confident with my own body? absolutely not. I HATE how I look but theres nothing I can do about that, I cannot change the way I look unless I get surgery and that definitely won’t happen. I am slowly starting to accept that no matter how much makeup I put on, how much weight I try to lose, I will always see a frumpy mess but I’ve just got to accept that and so do you. Everyone needs to accept that you only have one life and unless you have lots of money, you can’t change how you look. Accept yourself and learn to love yourself.
First time in a Warhammer environment.
I never thought I would see the day where I am reviewing my time at Warhammer world, well guess what? todays the day my frienderinos.
Today I experienced what most people would call ‘nerd central’ but it was actually one of my favourite atmospheres to be in! being surround by so many people that were so passionate about Warhammer was incredible, knowing they spent hours of their time painting the little figurines so delicately and being able to see them in action was amazing! I thought, before I even got there, that I would hate the place but the staff were so welcoming and were so quick at helping me out when I felt confused about what was going on, they managed to change my views on Warhammer in the space of 5 minutes and for me, that’s quick.
When you first walk in, you feel like its such a let down as there isn’t much there but as soon as you go upstairs, it is completely different world, there is a massive hall where people can hire out game tables and play for hours, there are painting stations where you can paint your figures and there is the shop where you buy all your supplies!, honestly was so shocked about how much time and effort goes into something like this!
I would highly recommend going due to the staff being so lovely and the place is so intriguing.
Is it really the first of August?
Time has literally flew by this year and I cannot believe we are in August already.
This year has really taught me some new lessons and I’m going to put them to the test of the next month.
So in the past I have struggled with learning how to save as I literally spend the money as soon as I get paid but because I struggled with my finances at uni I now realise that I need to save so I don’t starve on the next year. I have now got into the mentality that if I don’t need it, I don’t buy it. This has took me a while to get into and I’m still trying to get my head around it but I know that I need every single penny that I can get for university this academic year.
All my life I have struggled with confidence and accepting I am who I am. I’ve always been on a journey with my weight so I’m trying everything to get it under control before I go back to uni, I know this will be a hard task as it is literally just over a month away but I want to be able to feel good about myself for once when I am there. I also want to not care about what others think when doing something, I always put others feelings before mine which is nice but I always end up getting hurt so hopefully I will be able to change.
My Twitter following is slowly growing but I want more people to see my posts as I am proud of them, yes you heard that right, I am proud of something. My goal by the end of August is to reach 200 followers, not far to go but it is a big push. It’s not only Twitter, its my blog too, I love writing posts, I love doing it for myself but I also wish others would see how passionate I am about writing. I am awful at photography, filming etc.. but I feel like I have finally found something that I enjoy and I want the whole world to see it.
I do apologise if this got deep, it’s just I have so many goals that I want to be able to complete, it means the world to me that YOU are reading this! thank you for making my dreams a reality.
So this post is all about things that you associate with British people, I was walking my dog and it all just came to me.
- Telling your dog ‘bless you’ once it has sneezed- Now I know this may sound bizarre but British people are either overly polite or stupidly rude, there’s no in between, therefore will compliment, apologise and give thanks at any time. I was walking my dog and he sneezed because the grass tickled his nose, I then said bless you straight after. I then stopped and thought why the hell I just did that as my dog can’t understand words, only the way words are said. Dogs mean the world to me but I never thought that I would be doing this. Am I going crazy?
- Having my pinky up no matter what drink I have- Okay, I might be a little weird but every drink I have whether its a hot, cold, alcoholic etc.. I ALWAYS have my pinky up, its like a hand erection when I’m drinking something I love but I just can’t control it, someone help.
- Complaining about the weather- So in England we have just recently had a 3 week heatwave but all I did was complain, I absolutely detest the heat and love the rain, however when its cold and rainy, I wish it would warm up a bit. You just can’t win.
- Saying sorry even though you have done nothing wrong- I have a HUGE tendency to apologise over things at work. If I’m in someones way-sorry, if I accidentally brush past them-sorry, if someone holds the door for me-sorry. I feel like the word sorry is just my whole vocabulary and I struggle to say something else.
- Queuing- We love queuing, does it even need an explanation?
I hope you enjoyed these points, feel free to comment more points that we always do!
So, todays blog post does contain a trigger warning to those that are vulnerable with their mental health, so if that is you then it is your choice whether to continue reading.
Over the past couple of years I have suffered with really bad anxiety and have struggled to open up to people and tell them how I feel. I did have counselling ( 1 on 1) but after two sessions I was forced into group therapy which I hated, I hit an all time low and struggled to get back up again. From then on my trust with people I barely know has suffered and I tend to not get too close to them.
Before I do anything that includes interacting with people, I tend to have a small panic attack. This is an ongoing thing as my job involves interacting with strangers so I get so scared with how I am going to act around them. The panic attacks sometimes get so bad that I want to call in sick at work and rock myself into a pit of darkness with nothing but me and my messed up brain. Before blogging, this would happen every time before work however now I have this blog it is usually only twice a week when it happens. Having something to release and vent any of my thoughts down on to my blog has really changed my life and I can’t thank the people enough who genuinely enjoy reading my posts.
Below are going to be some methods, that I use, on how to calm and distract yourself from a panic attack:
- Do NOT close your door- if you are in your house, it is crucial that you do not close your door. Having that wall against you and help is a big thing so make sure you can easily access your way around.
- Breathe- Breathing is a really big thing as, as soon as the panic attack starts you feel like you can’t breathe. Try and take deep breaths and listen to your breathing pattern, try and adjust it until it is back to normal. Take your time, don’t rush.
- Try and surround yourself with meaningful items- Having personal belongings around you can add that sense of security and safeness to the moment. Knowing that these items are there can distract your brain from panicking and focus on the more important feelings.
- Water- Make sure you are having a regular intake of water as it can cool your body down and control the dryness that may occur in your mouth.
I’m sorry if this post isn’t what you were expecting, I just wanted everyone to realise that this blog is so much more to me than you can imagine, it is my way out, my venting space.
Thank you for being so supportive!